130. Expostulation with Oneself

Chapter. 130.Expostulation with Oneself
Kural - 1291
You see his heart is his alone
O heart, why not be all my own?
Meaning : O my soul! although you have seen how his soul stands by him, how is it you do not stand by me?
Kural - 1292
'Tis plain, my heart, that he 's estranged from thee;
Why go to him as though he were not enemy?
Meaning : O my soul! although you have known him who does not love me, still do you go to him, saying "he will not be displeased."
Kural - 1293
'The ruined have no friends, 'they say; and so, my heart,
To follow him, at thy desire, from me thou dost depart.
Meaning : O my soul! do you follow him at pleasure under the belief that the ruined have no friends?
Kural - 1294
'See, thou first show offended pride, and then submit,' I bade;
Henceforth such council who will share with thee my heart?
Meaning : O my soul! you would not first seem sulky and then enjoy (him); who then would in future consult you about such things?
Kural - 1295
I fear I shall not gain, I fear to lose him when I gain;
And thus my heart endures unceasing pain.
Meaning : My soul fears when it is without him; it also fears when it is with him; it is subject to incessant sorrow.
Kural - 1296
My heart consumes me when I ponder lone,
And all my lover's cruelty bemoan.
Meaning : My mind has been (here) in order to eat me up (as it were) whenever I think of him in my solitude.
Kural - 1297
Fall'n 'neath the sway of this ignoble foolish heart,
Which will not him forget, I have forgotten shame.
Meaning : I have even forgotten my modesty, having been caught in my foolish mind which is not dignified enough to forget him.
Kural - 1298
If I contemn him, then disgrace awaits me evermore;
My soul that seeks to live his virtues numbers o'er.
Meaning : My soul which clings to life thinks only of his (own) gain in the belief that it would be disgraceful for it to despise him.
Kural - 1299
And who will aid me in my hour of grief,
If my own heart comes not to my relief?
Meaning : Who would help me out of one's distress, when one's own soul refuses help to one?
Kural - 1300
A trifle is unfriendliness by aliens shown,
When our own heart itself is not our own!
Meaning : It is hardly possible for strangers to behave like relations, when one's own soul acts like a stranger.